Teenagers. They want to be different. But still fit in. They want to be free. But still feel secure. They want what everyone else has. And what no one else has. They want privileges. But not responsibilities. They want us to butt out. But they need us to be there. And as frazzled as they make us feel, they ultimately want the same things we want. To belong. To be loved. To be special. Unique. Significant.

True, it’s tempting to review the music teens listen to (yikes!), the way they drive (too fast), and pants we’ve not seen ride so low since the plumber’s last visit. But it’s more constructive to try to understand the stresses they face – and consider where that stress can lead if we adults don’t provide the support they need.

So, how do we help teens handle stress in healthy ways? “The most important tool is a support system,” says About.com’s Cathleen Henning. One that includes not just peers but also adults who are easy to talk to and sympathetic to teenage issues.

Where might a student find friends and supportive adults to talk to, aside from school? In her article, How can we help teens cope?, Hennings suggests through church and other outside activities. Which begs the question: What would make a teenager actually want to go to church?

The answer is simple – the same things that make unchurched adults want to come. Pastors who talk to them, not at them. People who listen to them. Messages that relate to their lives, their struggles, their uncertainties. Plus the usual teen magnets. Food. Friends. And music they could actually dance to. Maybe it’s time to drop our preconceived notions of what would be good for teenagers – and give them what they really need instead. A place to feel loved and accepted, not only by the church but by an awesome God who adores them, quirks and all. With no ambivalence whatsoever.

Want to create an unintimidating place where teens can learn about the love of Jesus – and enjoy it?  Discover how to:

• Challenge students to take their next steps.
• Plan strategically for incredible programs and events.
• Use friendship evangelism to draw your kids to Christ.
  
• Balance the demands of student ministry and personal life.

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